I smoked so much weed in 2011 ..

I don’t even remember half it .. I just remember my ex and I breaking up … I found out he slept with my sister .. and I just smoked till I couldn’t think . The crazy thing is I got A’s and maintained a job … but I was BLUNTED through it all . The shits sick… I don’t smoke anymore tho .. But damn 2011 was the year of the pothead forsurrrrre.

Ohio State Of Mind .

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2 weeks sober .

yes people .. no more weed. not because I believe in that “your too pretty,” but I just felt like quitting. to all those still rolling up as we speak : dedicate a blunt to me .

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Life as I know it .

Grades ? not so good … its cool tho . I just wanna end my school career with a 3.2 average. I just wanna go to college . I wanna be more . I wanna be what I believe I am . Work ? Mcdonalds ? … hmmm what can I say … I get paid . People might look down on my job but I think their lame as af . I get paid damn good. Not only does my specific Mcdonalds get 10 cents more than others due to we are privately owned but minimum wage went up and I gotta raise :) ! So fuck your outlook on making frappes & fries as ” bum life ” cause this bum eats well & looks well off that Mckey Dees Check ! Cuh Cuh. Love life ? I don’t want one .. I do really like someone tho . He’s great . He’s been around forever too . Well like at least like 7 seasons . I just don’t know him as well as I want to. I just love the fact he makes me open up. He gives me no other option but to be real. He goes to Wright University #CollegeBoy :D . Yeah Im sorta cheesed that he diggs me so much. I mean it is going on 3 years he’s been around. But like I said love life ? I really don’t want one. Cause as great as he seems now … he can be a jerk off for all I know . Plus love is the last thing on my mind. A boy in general is last on my mind . Friends ? I got one named Akilah & she is a hand full . smdh. Thats another post for another time .

I’m just not tryna ..

be in love 

be mad or sad

create drama 

be tied down 

stressed 

broke 

unmotivated

depressed 

worrysome 

I’m just not tryna do that right now . 

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Me vs. Them ..

I rather lick ass then become a self asorbed, rude, bitchy, self concious, following ass, clone ass, regular ass, normal ass, judging ass, penis pressed, bougie, unaware, uneducated, unprioritized, dependent, emotional, drama filled … Clique member . So if that makes me wierd or a lame than I guess lame is the new cool . Judge me bitch . Cause unlike you, I really don’t give a fuck . 

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random thoughts .

1. I should become a trap star

2. I want some weed .. like now .

3. my ex is a fag .. idk how I feel about this .

4. I need my nails done like shit .

5. I need to go to Sole Classics get my shoes . 

Me & My friends debate : Am I black ? or African American ?

I don’t like being called African American . People ask me why ? 1st because Im not completely just an African descendant and because it disreguards everything else in my blood. I am a mut like many others. Im hatian, Im dominican, Im an African descendant, Im native american .. my parents are colorful people. The same way a chinese person is a Asian-American, you can’t just say cause Im not white Im ” African American ” . Im a mut so I like to be called black . I even go as far as when I check my ethnicity I choose other because I hate being labled ” African American ” … I feel like its another way for people to get shit confused . African Americans are Africans that are African and move to America . Just my thought . 

I just woke up to fuck shit ..

My Ex … we used to be friends, we dated, he hurt me more than anyone in the world could . I almost lost my virginity to him . I almost fell in love with him . But reguardless I tried and gave a fuck about him which is rare for a gemini like me to do . He contact two of my close friends saying he needed me dearly to speak me and I began to cry automatically because I felt the urgency to be there for him . Then I thought about all what he had done to me & I got pissed at myself . He told the both of them ” I need to talk to her, I need someone I trust ” … It dawned on me : You trust me so much cause you know I’d never do anything to hurt you but you still hurt me and stole my trust away from me . I guess he was supposedly suicidal & I am the type of person that loves to help . I rather help him then have him die . Its a really fucked up and twisted situation to have on your mind but its here & I dont even know how to deal . Its just crazy that round this time last year I thought he was the one and now Im praying to God he’s not a lost one . I just hope he calls me & gets some help before he hurts himself . I feel stupid for even giving fuck . Smh, its just crazy how karma works tho huh ? smh . Cudi Flow till I can rest my eyes & have peace of mind .

Parents found out I smoke weed & Flipped

I get good grades, Im not fucking, and I go to work .

Im doing all this while being young, black, and everything the world is against .

Why wouldn’t I blow ? o_O

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Left nipple pierced .

Okay the experience . Well I went with my two Stud lesbian friends . We were in the hood . The chick was a mobile piercer . So I walked in or whatever & she pulled out her tools . Sterilized everything in front of me . She gripped my nipple with this metal thing. It had holes on it . Then she stuck this needle with a hole in it also through. At first I didnt feel it, then I looked down & I felt a wave of pain like someone had bit my nipple in half . So then she left the needle in & grabbed my nipple ring & put it in the whole of the needle then pulled the needle through to leave just the nipple ending of the nipple ring & put on the other ball. It was kinda quick but alot of pain. But not as bad as people say. For some reason the bottom of my boob hurt & not my nipple lol . But I did it tipsy & I bled a little more than others because of that, but I couldnt do that shit sober. smh . But yeah its an experience I’ll never forget. It proved to me that I am a gangster & I have a high tolerance for pain & Im a wierdo . 

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